How I Met Dr Horrible
by sudipal
Summary: Robin makes a surprising discovery...
1. Prologue

Prologue:

The gang was sitting at their usual table at MacLaren's. Lily and Marshall sat on one side, and Ted and Robin sat on the other, with Barney sitting in a chair in between them. Suddenly, Barney's phone started ringing a strange tune. He had a brief look of panic in his eyes as he answered. Three men dressed as cowboys popped up from behind his chair, singing:

"_Bad Horse_

_Bad Horse_

_Bad Horse_

_Bad Horse_

_He's gotten all the e-mails _

_That you've been sending him,_

_But he's put them directly_

_Into his trash bin._

_He doesn't like excuses,_

_So just put up with all abuses._

_Giddy up the pace,_

_Stay the course,_

_Or it's 'Goodbye, Wilbur.'_

_Signed, Bad Horse."_

"What was that!" asked Marshall, excitedly.

"Nothing," said Barney, gulping loudly. "Nothing. Oh, what's that over there?" He pointed into the distance, and then he suddenly stood up and ran out, his limbs flailing about as he left the bar.

"Okay," said Ted. "That was really weird. Even for Barney."

"Yeah," said Marshall. "You can say that again."

"You know," said Ted. "I should really wear my red cowboy boots more often..."

"No!" all three chorused.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Barney liked to imagine sometimes that perhaps there was something worthwhile out there after all. When Shannon had dumped him all those years ago and he moved to LA, hoping to one day join the Evil League of Evil and change the status quo (like stupid jerks stealing stupid, trampy girlfriends... stupid!), he gave himself a new identity... Billy. He just wanted to get as far away from his problems as possible, and no one would ever know him as Billy. And once he became ruler of the world, New York and all of the pain it caused him would be dealt with. Of course, he was not expecting the ELE to transfer him back to New York. And neither was he expecting to fall in love again with the City that he now calls home, nor was he expecting to make such great friends who accepted him for who he was (or at least what they knew about who he was).

One day, Barney, Ted, Lily and Marshall were all sitting in their regular booth at MacLaren's when Robin joined them. She had a wide smile on her face.

"Wow," said Lily. "Somebody looks happy."

"Yeah," said Robin. "Well, I just met this great guy."

"Did you now?" asked Barney, gripping his glass tightly. Over the time he had gotten to know Robin, he had started to fall in love with her. It was hard for him to admit it; twice he had let himself love a woman, and twice he had been hurt... and so had one of the women. People wondered why he had such commitment issues; well, it was more of a safety precaution than anything else. He couldn't let what happened- No, he couldn't let himself think of her anymore. But Robin stirred in him feelings that he hadn't had in a very long time. He confided those feelings with Lily, and she had been really supportive towards him about it.

"Uh... um," said Lily, noticing Barney's reaction. "He can't be that great; I mean, first impressions can be deceiving and all."

"I know," said Robin. "Actually, at first I thought he was really cheesy, but he's really macho, and you know how I like that in a guy."

"Yeah, well uh," said Barney, speaking an octave lower. "Did I tell you guys I was thinking of riding a mechanical bull later?"

"Huh?" asked Robin.

"Nothing."

"Anyway," she said. "I'd like you all to meet him; he's coming to pick me up from here before our date."

Robin turned around to watch the door. A moment later, a handsome, buff looking guy with a flashy smile walked in. "There he is. Hey, over here!" Barney's eyes bulged when he saw the man who had walked into the bar, and had to quickly recompose himself before anyone noticed his terror. The man came to join their group, putting his arm around Robin's waist. "Guys, this is Captain Hammer."

"Whoa," exclaimed Marshall. "You're dating Captain Hammer. That is so cool."

"I know," said the superhero.

"Captain Hammer," said Robin. "These are my friends. That's Ted, Lily, Marshall-"

"Hey," said Marshall, giggling slightly.

"And Barney."

"Do I know you?" he asked Barney, who had slumped lower into his seat.

"No," said Barney. "We have never met before. Ever. This is the first time we have ever met. We are meeting now after having never met previously in any other context."

"Really?" he said. "Because you look _horribly_ familiar."

"I suppose I just have one of those faces," said Barney, forcing a chuckle. He knew that Captain Hammer had recognized him just as quickly as he himself had recognized the hero, but he couldn't give himself away in front of his friends.

"I know," said Hammer. "Did we meet at the laundromat?"

"Barney at the laundromat?" laughed Robin. "I don't even think he knows the word."

"I guess I was mistaken," said Hammer.

"Yeah," said Barney. "Robin, can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked, rising from his seat and pulling Robin to the bar.

"What is it, Barney?" she asked.

"You _cannot_ date this guy!" he said.

"Why not?"

"Because he's a huge jerk," said Barney.

"How do you know?" said Robin. "You just said that you've never met him before. Plus, he's a superhero; I don't think they're allowed to be jerks."

"Just trust me, okay."

"No, Barney," she said, angrily. "I don't know what kind of mind-game you're trying to play now, but I like this guy a lot. I'm not gonna have you ruin things for me." She went back to Captain Hammer and they left for their date.

Barney slumped back down next to his friends, visibly upset.

"You okay, Barney?" asked Lily.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Couldn't be better."

"Great," said Ted. "My ex is dating Captain Hammer. How am I supposed to beat that?"

"I thought you two were done competing over the break-up winner?" said Lily.

"Yeah, but Lily," explained Marshall. "Robin is dating a _superhero_. It doesn't matter how long ago they broke up... She still wins _big time_. And what if they get really serious? Now Ted needs to find someone even better... like a dolphin trainer."

"Dolphin trainer?" asked Ted. "Really?"

"They get to ride dolphins for a living!" answered Marshall.

Barney sat listening to the conversation in silence. He was the one who actually had feelings for Robin right now, not Ted, who was only tasting the residue. He was the one who had to see her dating, and smiling at, and kissing his worst enemy- the man who stood for everything he hated about society. He felt his phone vibrate and noticed he got a new text message: Emergency ELE meeting ASAP. "I gotta go," he said, quickly, before running off.

–

Dr. Horrible, in full costume, hurriedly stepped into the already full conference room and sat down.

"Dr. Horrible," said Evil Leonard Nimoy. "Nice of you to join us."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Anyway," said Evil Nimoy. "Now that we're all here..." he said, staring at Dr. Horrible. "Let's get down to business.

"I've called you all to this emergency meeting because my sources have just informed me that Captain Hammer is currently in New York." He paused as some of the villains at the table gasped. "Now, we all know that Hammer is a huge threat to our evil ways here at the Evil League of Evil, but I'm confidant that if we pull together, we can bring him to his knees. Dr. Horrible-"

"Hm.. uh.. yes," he said, sitting upright in his seat.

"How's the Freeze Ray coming along?"

"It's uh," said Dr. Horrible. "Coming along just fine. Nearly almost seventy-five percent complete."

"I see..." said Evil Nimoy, narrowing his eyes as he stared at Dr. Horrible.

It had been three months since Bad Horse had given Dr. Horrible a five month deadline to finally complete his Freeze-Ray. The Freeze-Ray, the one weapon Dr. Horrible had never been able to perfect; either it would over-power, or take too long to charge, or shut down too quickly. There was always just something he couldn't get right, and it had been driving him crazy for years. Even after his nervous-breakdown resulting in Bad Horse transferring him to the Evil League of Evil's New York branch, Dr. Horrible was still working on figuring out the correct equations.

Dr. Horrible didn't speak for the rest of the meeting. He barely even listened. All he could think about was Captain Hammer... and Robin... together.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

"Hey guys," said Robin as she walked into MacLaren's with Captain Hammer. She was met with greetings by everybody.

"Hi everyone," said Captain Hammer. "Ted, Marshall, Lily... Billy."

"That's, um, Barney," he corrected.

"My mistake," said Hammer. "Oh, that's a bad cut you got there. How'd that happen? It looks like someone threw a mailbox at your head... or something."

"I, um, fell... out of bed... with a woman... What up?" He lifted his hand for a high-five and Marshall met his palm.

"Yeah," said Captain Hammer. "Robin and I had a wild night, too." He grabbed her ass and pulled her in for a kiss.

"Ah, stop it!" said Robin, who not-so-secretly loved it.

Barney winced as he saw them kiss. "She said stop it..." he mumbled.

Robin looked at her watch. "Oh gosh. I gotta go to work. Did you guys hear about that foiled bank robbery this morning? Captain Hammer was amazing!"

"Yeah," said Marshall. "Some lame super villain got the snot kicked out of him."

"_You're_ lame," said Barney.

"Oh, come on," said Ted. "He was wearing a lab coat and goggles- how unoriginal can you get?"

"I quite agree," said Captain Hammer, glancing noticeably at Barney. "Dr. Horrible, though my arch-nemesis, is such a total loser. It's embarrassing even to watch him in action."

Barney was practically steaming. How could his friends side with Captain Hammer, corporate tool, over him? Well, technically they didn't know they were doing that, but if they had any sort of brains, they'd know who was superior...

"Earth to Barney..." said Lily, and Barney suddenly snapped to attention.

"Huh?" he asked. "What's going on?"

"Well, Captain Hammer here thinks that Dr. Horrible is a lame-oid wannabe, and who probably has never gotten laid in his life."

Barney wanted to jump on Captain Hammer and beat him to a bloody pulp, and just needed one more excuse. "So?" he asked.

"So what do you think?" asked Lily.

"Yeah, Barney," said Hammer. "_Penny_ for your thoughts..."

That was it. Barney suddenly jumped up and attacked his foe. "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" He hit Captain Hammer with blow after blow, laughing maniacally as the man underneath him cried out in agony.

"Barney?" said Robin, knocking him from his wonderful daydream. "You okay?"

"I, uh, just remembered," he stuttered. "That I, um, I gotta go." He stood up quickly and left without another word.

–

"Captain Hammer," began Robin, sitting behind her desk in the studio while her interviewee stood somewhere in Lower Manhattan with a camera crew in front of him. "Thank you for taking the time for this interview. I'm sure you have a hectic schedule saving the day."

"Oh, it's no problem," said Captain Hammer. "I'm always willing to help out anyone in anyway I can. Especially women as hot as you."

Robin giggled and then recomposed herself quickly. "That's very noble of you. Tell us, what made you decide to make the move from LA to the Big Apple?"

"Well," he said. "I just didn't think it was right to only save one area of the glorious U.S. of A. when there are so many other people out there who have not experienced my heroics."

"Now, a couple years ago, Dr. Horrible, who has also relocated to New York, actually defeated you, and you went into hiding for a while. When you reappeared, you seemed to have lost your popularity and Dr. Horrible stole almost all of your fan base."

Captain Hammer frowned. "It was a lucky break. Dr. Horrible isn't that great, or that smart. Did you know he used to have a video blog?"

"Really?" she asked.

"And he told everyone all about the heists he would be planning. Needless to say, both myself and the police department were among his viewers; we were always waiting for him, like a game of cat and mouse, where the cat has sharp claws, and huge fangs, and fuzzy little whiskers..."

"That's very interesting," said Robin.

"And, sometimes, he used to break out into song."

"Like... a musical?"

"Yeah," he said. "It was pretty ridiculous."

"I can imagine."

"They were kinda catchy, though. 'With my freeze-ray... lalala...'"

"Okay," said Robin, as she was being motioned to wrap up the segment. "Well that's all the time we have. Thank you, Captain Hammer, for taking the time with us today."

"My pleasure," he said, smiling broadly.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"Hey, guys," said Robin as she returned to hers and Ted's apartment. Ted, Marshall, and Lily were already there, lounging on the sofa and watching TV. "Did you see my interview with Captain Hammer?"

"Um... yeah," said Ted.

"Yeah, it was great," said Lily. "I, uh, liked the part in the middle?"

"You could just say no."

"Well," said Ted. "Then no."

"Get this," said Robin. "He said that Dr. Horrible used to have a musical video blog. I want to look it up right now."

"Eh."

"Come on guys! This is gonna be hilarious. Where's Barney? He appreciates this kind of thing... He's seen my Robin Sparkles video, like, a million times already."

"I don't know," said Marshall. "I think he had a work emergency."

"Don't you work in his office, Marshall?" asked Robin.

"Yeah, but I'm in a different department than him."

"So..." she asked. "What does Barney do?"

"I don't know. He's really secret about it, even when at work. He's always in meetings, or on business trips, or something..."

"Not the Star Trek thing again!" groaned Lily. "Barney is _not_ a member of the Starship Enterprise."

"I'm telling you," said Marshall, emphatically. "There's a guy in our office the looks _exactly_ like Mr. Spock!"

"Yeah," said Lily. "Sure there is, baby."

"Huh... Anyway," said Robin. "Fine, I'll be in my room watching _awesome_ video blogs."

As she turned to leave, she caught Ted saying, "I think that's an oxymoron."

Robin went to her room and sat on her bed with her laptop placed in front of her. She opened up her internet browser and typed in 'dr horrible, blog.' Ooh, I found it; that was easy. Okay, here we go... She looked at the long list of entry dates and paused before deciding which one to view first. She clicked on a date and watched as a strangely familiar looking man stared at her from her screen, rambling on about the status quo and how he should be ruling the world.

And he really did look familiar, but she couldn't place him. Did she meet him on vacation somewhere? Maybe Cancun one summer when she was seventeen? No, that wasn't it. She pushed the thought aside; people usually remember these things when they stop trying to think so hard about it. She watched on for about an hour or so, totally entranced. Dr. Horrible was talking about this girl he liked; Robin had never considered that super villains could fall in love, too. Well, with all of their strong emotions towards things, why shouldn't love be counted among them?

"All right," said Dr. Horrible from her computer screen. "The wait is over. This, my friends, is my Freeze-Ray, which, with the addition of the Wonderflonium I obtained at my famously successful heist last week... I say successful in that I achieved my objective. It was less successful in that I inadvertently introduced my arch-nemesis to the girl of my dreams, and now he's taking her out on dates, and they're probably going to french kiss or something."

Oh, so does that mean Captain Hammer was dating the girl he liked? That sucks. Well, he's dating me now, so tough.

"She called him sweet. How is he sweet?" He paused for the briefest moment, realizing he had gotten off track. "Right! Freeze-Ray. So, as of tonight, I am in the Evil League of Evil, if all goes according to plan; which it will because _I hold a Ph. D. in Horribleness_! See you at the aftermath. Peace! But not literally..."

Robin burst out laughing at that last remark. What a ridiculous catchphrase! And who even says 'peace' anymore? It was getting late and she had to get up early for work tomorrow, but she just could not stop watching Dr. Horrible.

–

The next evening at MacLaren's, Robin sat down next to Ted in their regular booth. "Hey."

"Hey," he said.

"Where is everyone?" she asked.

"Marshall and Lily went to some party held by one of their couple friends, and Barney's working the bar." Robin turned around to see Barney whispering something into some skinny blond chick's ear. She was giggling at whatever he had just said. God, how can some girls be so stupid to fall for his lines? 'Any dolt with half a brain can see that humankind has gone insane'... Wait. Now she's quoting Dr. Horrible? Not just him, but his songs? It was enough that she spent the entire night fixated on his ramblings, but now she had him stuck in her head during the day, too. But it was hard not to consider his passionate fury at everything wrong with the world, to wince at all of the bruises and cuts inflicted on him by Captain Hammer, or to lament with him as he pined over the girl of his dreams.

"So... How are things going with Captain Hammer?"

"Oh, great. Just fine." The image of Dr. Horrible telling his viewers that Captain Hammer threw a car at his head made her cringe. I mean, is that ever necessary? Wait... am I siding with the bad guy? What does that make me?

"Robin?"

"Yeah, Ted."

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

Barney suddenly slid into the booth to sit down next to her. "Totally got that girl's number."

"What obvious lie did you make up this time?" sighed Robin.

"I told her I was an astronaut about to be launched into space for a five year mission."

"And she bought that?" asked Robin.

"Yup. I'm gonna get me some tang. What up!" He smiled broadly, lifting his hand, and Robin rolled her eyes before giving him a high-five. How did she ever end up being friends with someone like Barney Stinson? Well, he was pretty fun to be around when he wasn't hitting on bimbos; her nights had definitely gotten more interesting since she met him. Especially one particular night when they... No! She had banned herself from even thinking about it again. It took so long for Ted to forgive Barney that she didn't want to complicate things again. Even if he was a really good kisser... Stop it! Think of something else. Now. I command you! Dr. Horrible... Damn. And I had just gotten him out of my head, too...


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

"Ted!" said Barney as he rushed through Ted and Robin's apartment door. "You. Me. Two hot tourists I met in Times Square. Now suit up!"

"I'm sorry. I can't. I got a deadline for this important office building I'm working on."

"No..." whined Barney. "Come on, Ted. Have I taught you nothing?"

"Oh yeah," said Ted. "You've taught me so much. Ever think about going on tour and teaching your ways to the masses?"

"Wow," said Barney. "Sarcasm. That's original."

Wait a second... thought Robin.

"Come on..." whined Barney again.

"I can't."

"Fine!" He stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

–

Robin watched more of Dr. Horrible that night. He was bragging about his Freeze Ray again. And he was also talking about Bad Horse's order to kill someone before he could get into the Evil League of Evil, which he didn't seem too thrilled about. Some evil villain... All he wanted to do was change the status quo; and things are pretty sucky nowadays, thought Robin.

And suddenly he was talking about that girl again. His eyes were sad. Robin wanted to comfort him, to tell him about all the trouble Ted had gone through for her. Or maybe introduce him to Barney, teach him to be more confident in picking up women. Barney... There was something about him that she knew was bugging her, but she just couldn't figure it out, like how a word can be on the tip of your tongue but you can't think of it. She thought about Barney's eyes; they were so blue and beautiful... and sad. Sad? What would Barney have to be sad about? According to him, his life was totally awesome. He seemed more nervous around her lately, ever since they... you know; and especially after that accident with the bus. Maybe he was just afraid of ruining things with Ted again? He was acting pretty pathetic during their 'breakup,' auditioning for new wing-men. But why was she thinking about Barney? Oh yeah. Dr. Horrible. Barney taking Dr. Horrible under his wing, teaching him his lecherous ways... God, he would have definitely gotten into the Evil League of Evil then. Maybe Barney would even have done up a video resume for him?

–

The number of entry dates left on the blog site had been steadily decreasing. On the fifth night since she started watching, she finally reached the last video. She clicked on it and gasped. This one was different. Dr. Horrible wasn't wearing his normal evil scientist outfit; instead, he was wearing sweats. He looked totally miserable, like he was broken. He looked like he had been crying or at least wanted to. But what surprised Robin most of all was that she was finally able to place who this man whom she had grown to sympathize with actually was: Barney! No, no, no. It couldn't be. No. But it looks exactly like him, minus the suits. He was just staring, then he mumbled something. She didn't quite catch it, so she rewound the video a couple seconds. "And I won't feel a thing." And then he was just staring blankly again.

What the hell happened?

She immediately typed into her search engine the month and year of the last blog. She was bombarded with news articles about Dr. Horrible defeating Captain Hammer and killing the superhero's girlfriend. Oddly, none of the articles mentioned the woman's name, though. So, Dr. Horrible killed an innocent woman? Someone who helped out the homeless, and seemed to be generally liked by people for her association with Captain Hammer, except for by a few of his more devoted fans. That was it. So then, oh god! Barney... murdered someone? But... it was Barney! He couldn't. He wouldn't. But he did. Oh god!

–

The next day, Robin tried her hardest to avoid Barney. Not her best plan ever, as she would have to confront him eventually, but she wanted to push it off for as long a possible. She had actually managed not to run into him the whole day. She deserved a drink, so she ended up at MacLaren's alone. Barney would probably be out on a date, anyway. But how could they be the same person? It just wasn't possible. Dr. Horrible was just so... And Barney was just so...

"Hey, Scherbatsky."

She visibly jumped.

"Anything wrong?" asked Barney, sliding into the seat opposite her, texting away on his phone.

"Hi... Barney. Uh, no. I'm fine. Just having a drink. Why are you on my case?"

"Yeah. Whatever." He continued texting.

Robin was shaking as she took a sip from her drink. Barney noticed.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked, lifting his head to look at her.

"Yes," said Robin

"Okay," said Barney, a smile forming on his face as he was about to begin an awesome story. "So anyway-"

"You killed her!" said Robin suddenly.

"What?" said Barney, both scared and confused.

"You killed that girl, what's-her-name..."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"You're Dr. Horrible."

"Shh...! Not so loud!" he motioned with his hands for her to quiet down.

"So it's true?" asked Robin, amazed. All obvious conclusions led her to this idea, but it was still strange to hear him admit it.

"Yeah."

"And you killed her?"

Barney was silent. He stared into her eyes, as if about to say something, but then he suddenly looked down, away from her. "I didn't... mean to... the... I... tried to stop him..." Tears started to fall from his eyes.

"Are you crying?" asked Robin.

"I gotta go." He suddenly jumped up and ran out of the bar, leaving Robin sitting there in shock.

–

Robin needed answers and talking to Barney was the only way to get them. She stopped by his apartment and knocked. No one answered. She tried calling him; she kept going to voice mail. She knelt down by his door and waited. It was four a.m. when she felt someone shaking her awake. She opened her eyes and saw Barney, his eyes red from tears, and booze stinking on his breath. "Robin... What are you...?"

"I've been waiting for you," she said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Come on. Let's get you inside first." She watched as Barney unlocked his door. They stepped inside to the Fortress of Barnitude. She helped him along as he stumbled to his bedroom. Robin decided that this was obviously not the best time to ask him anything. He was mumbling incoherently to himself about Wonderflonium and laundromats. "Hold on, Penny..." was the last thing he said before drifting off into drunken unconsciousness.

Robin sighed and lied down beside him. She wanted to be there when he woke up. He couldn't avoid her questions forever... Unless he decided to kill her...


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Barney woke up the next day with a splitting headache and in yesterday's suit. He couldn't remember anything that happened the night before, until... oh god, Robin! He bolted up in bed, which didn't help the hangover. He rubbed his eyes and took in a deep breath through his nose. Was that coffee?

He stood up and walked into his kitchen, where he saw Robin leaning over a mug of fresh coffee. She looked up when he came in the room. "Do you want some?" she offered.

"Sure," he said, and sat down on a stool. Robin brought him a black mug and poured just-as-black liquid into it.

"So," said Robin. "You're Dr. Horrible."

"Yup," said Barney.

"Are you going to kill me now?" she asked.

"What?" he said, genuinely shocked. "No. Of course not."

"You killed that girl. The one from that homeless shelter."

"I didn't..." he started, but then he trailed off, looking down at his coffee.

"Barney?" she said, softly."Hey, look at me."

"She wasn't supposed to die," he said, looking back up to meet her gaze. "Not her. I would have died myself before hurting her."

"Who was she?" asked Robin.

"Her name was Penny," said Barney. "She was my friend. We met at the laundromat." He paused for a moment before adding, "And I loved her."

"What?" gasped Robin.

"I was crazy about her," he said. "I never told her. And then she was dating Captain Hammer, who just loved rubbing it in my face."

"But he couldn't have known..."

"Oh," interrupted Barney, a hint of anger flaring up in his tone. "He knew. He recognized me again even the other day when you introduced him to everyone at the bar. And he just loves tormenting me about it. I think he only became a superhero so that he could beat people up and get praised for it."

"I'm so sorry, Barney."

"Yeah," he said. "Me, too. Now, not only is Captain Hammer on my case again, but I'm also getting pressured by the ELE to perfect my Freeze-Ray."

"So you really do have a Freeze-Ray?" asked Robin.

"Yeah," said Barney, quirking an eyebrow. "Wanna see it?"

–

_After the ELE meeting, Dr. Horrible was slow in gathering up his notes and leaving. He and Dead Bowie were alone in the room. _

"_Doctor," said Bowie._

"_Yeah?"_

"_You look so freaking depressed all the time," he said. "Like someone just died."_

"_That's none of your business," mumbled Dr. Horrible._

"_Look," said Dead Bowie. "You gotta stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and become awesome instead. You should try it."_

"_Yeah," said Dr. Horrible. "Right."_

–

"It's so... big," said Robin.

"Yeah it is!" said Barney.

"Can I touch it?" asked Robin.

"Um, sure."

"It's surprisingly warm," said Robin, slowly caressing the Freeze Ray. "How does it work?"

"Here," said Barney. "Let me show you... You just strap this on... Let me just tighten that up... Okay, aim it at that clock... No, wait... Here... Yeah... Okay, ready?... Whoa..."

"That was so incredibly awesome!" said Robin. "Can we do it again?"

"No," said Barney. "It kinda takes a while to warm up. I haven't worked out all the kinks yet."

"What are you going to do with it?" asked Robin.

"You know," said Barney. "Take over the world... and stuff. Look, it's not about what you do, it's about how you do it. And with the Freeze Ray, I can do anything I want."

"Barney, I don't know..."

"And I can get you anything you want."

"Really?" asked Robin.

"Yeah, sure."

"Sweet," she said. "So, can I help you fix it?"

"The Freeze-Ray?" he snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Come on," Robin pleaded. "I know everything there is to know about guns."

"Well... alright, I guess. But I get all the credit, okay?"

"How come you get all the credit?"

"Come on, Scherbatsky, how would it look if word got out that _Dr. Horrible_ needed help with his experiments... and from a _Canadian_ no less!"

"Fine. I just want to help, though."

"Okay then."

"So," she said. "Do I get a cool evil villain nickname, too?"

"More like evil henchman," said Barney.

"I could live with that," said Robin. "So am I your first?"

"Huh?"

"First henchman," she explained.

"No," said Barney. "I had a buddy named Moist."

"Moist?"

"Just what the name implies," he said.

"So what happened to him?" asked Robin.

"He's back in LA," said Barney. "I used to live there for a bit until the Evil League of Evil transferred me back to New York."

"Why did they transfer you?" she asked.

"I suppose they just needed someone awesome to control the most awesome city ever." And the nervous breakdown thing, but Robin didn't need to know that.

–

_Dr. Horrible sat opposite Fake Thomas Jefferson. He avoided eye contact with Jefferson, and instead focused on the quill inside the ink jar that was positioned on the desk. "Dr. Horrible," said Jefferson. "I suppose you know why you're here."_

"_I guess..." he mumbled._

"_Pardon me?" said Jefferson in his best authoritative voice._

"_Because of this morning," answered Dr. Horrible._

"_Because of this morning," repeated Jefferson. "Look, Dr. Horrible, you're a vital asset to the League. This past month alone, you stole eighty-five thousand dollars from the local banks. But the kind of behavior like you pulled this morning can jeopardize not only yourself, but the League as a whole. So I need to know if this is going to happen again."_

_Dr. Horrible thought about this morning. The bank heist was going so well. Moist was in the back, collecting the cash, which was only taking so long because the bags kept slipping out of his hands. Dr. Horrible was just considering an investment in gloves for his buddy when he spotted her cowering against the wall with all the other unlucky bank-goers. Maybe it was the long, red hair. Maybe it was the large doe-eyes. Maybe it was the doggy-bag from the nearby frozen yogurt shop. But suddenly all he could think about was Penny. Penny, her cold body lying limp in his arms as she died. He couldn't breath, the room started to spin. He dropped his weapon. He felt a hand on his shoulder. "Doc, you okay?" said a voice that sounded like Moist. Sirens. "The cops. We gotta go. Come on." He felt himself being pulled out into the street. A couple blocks away, they hid in an alley. The cool air brought Dr. Horrible back to his senses. He slumped down against a brick wall, mentally defeated, and sobbed._

"_Dr. Horrible," said Jefferson, bringing him back to the present. Jefferson sighed. "I'm afraid we're going to have to put you in for a temporary leave of absence, after which time, you will be transferred to one of our other branches."_

–

"Hand me that screwdriver," said Barney, motioning to Robin. Robin did as she was told.

"Wrench..." he said.

"Paint brush..."

After a few moments, Barney took a step back to admire his work. "Perfect," he smiled, caressing his weapon with a loving affection that Robin had only seen him use towards his suits.

"This is a masterpiece," said Robin, who never thought she had ever seen a more beautiful thing in her life.

Barney turned to her. "You did good work, Scherbatsky."

"You weren't too bad yourself," she said. "So, what now?"

"I'm going to bring this over to the League," he said. "Show them it's completed. What about you?"

"Well, I gotta get to work pretty soon. I should probably shower, change, you know."

"Yeah."

"Well, see ya," said Robin, turning to leave.

"Robin..." called out Barney. She quickly went to face him.

"Yeah?" she asked, half-expectedly, though she wasn't quite sure for what.

Barney paused, looked embarrassed. "Bye," he said.

"Bye," said Robin, before leaving Barney's apartment.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Barney pulled up to the Evil League of Evil's headquarters in a nondescript black van. It wasn't his usual transportation of choice, but he had a package in the back that he didn't want to draw attention towards. He drove past his assigned parking space, opting instead to park down an alley on the side of the building. He got out of the van and knocked four times on the locked door. He looked into the security camera, waiting for one of the guards to let him in. He scanned the area as he waited. He glanced at his watch. This was taking too long. Someone was getting lazy on the job, and Dr. Horrible didn't care for that kind of behavior.

He started to walk up the alley, and onto the street. He was anxious to reveal his weapon to his colleagues, to show them how capable he was. The street was pretty quiet. A young woman pushing a stroller walked past him. As he turned to check out the woman's ass, he noticed something else happening out of the corner of his eye. About a block away, across the street, an old lady had been out for a stroll. Just then, a hooded figure came rushing past her, snatching the purse that hung loosely from her side.

"My purse!" she screamed. Not thinking, Barney ran full speed up into the thief, knocking him to the ground. He smashed the guy's head into the concrete once for good measure, then stood up, brushing his suit smooth. He picked up the purse, and brought it back to the lady.

A small crowd had gathered, congratulating him, shaking his hand, clapping him on the back. The woman was grateful, giving him a kiss, which left a smeared lipstick stain on his cheek. "You're a hero, young man," she said.

Barney smiled awkwardly. "You just be more careful in the future, okay?"

–

Barney, now in full Dr. Horrible costume, wheeled his tarp-covered Freeze-Ray into the conference room. He looked up with a supercilious smile, only to be greeted with a room full of frowns.

"What?" asked Dr. Horrible. "Did I get something on my coat?"

"Dr. Horrible," said Evil Leonard Nimoy. "Care to explain what happened this morning?"

He panicked for a moment. Did they find out about Robin? Now that she knew his real identity, was she now in danger? "What do you mean?" he gulped.

Evil Nimoy picked up a remote that was sitting on the table and turned on a screen fitted into the wall. Dr. Horrible watched as Barney, looking as awesome as ever, collided into a hooded figure and returned a purse to a grateful old woman.

"Care to explain this behavior?" asked Evil Nimoy.

"Um..." he stammered. "I just saw that guy, and I didn't even think-"

"That's right," said Evil Nimoy. "You didn't think. How do you think it looks for the ELE if its top members go around helping out poor old ladies, or defenseless women, or innocent children? Bad Horse didn't get to become the Thoroughbred of Sin just by his terrible death whinny. No, he rose from obscurity by forming terrifying threats and diabolical plans. Now, I don't know how they did things over in Los Angeles, but over here, we act by a simple motto: Live long, and prosper. Do you think you can do that? Do you think you can survive here?"

Dr. Horrible listened to every word that was flung at him. The smugness he felt as he entered the office was no longer there. It was replaced by an urgent desire to prove his worth, to prove he belonged in the League just as much as Evil Leonard Nimoy, or Psychic Terror, or Extremely Mad Hatter.

He stood up tall, lifted his chin. "Oh," he said. "I don't think I'll have any difficulty surviving from now on. Because the Freeze-Ray is... wait for it..." He removed the tarp that covered his most prized possession. "Ready."

Evil Nimoy looked from Dr. Horrible to the Freeze-Ray. "Good," he said. "Because you have a new assignment: kill Captain Hammer."

* * *

A/N: According to season 4 episode 23, it seems Barney has finally gotten over his fear and learned how to drive.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Robin sat behind her news anchor desk as makeup was applied to her face. It was taking longer than usual because she was fidgeting, worried about what she was about to do. An image of Barney passed before her eyes as she took in a deep breath. This had to happen, and she didn't want to push it off any longer. She swiveled around in her chair and spotted him as he approached. She put on a big smile and went over to greet him.

"Captain Hammer," she said.

"Hey, babe," he said, leaning in for a kiss. When Robin didn't reciprocate, he looked at her and asked, "Is something wrong? Bad breath?" He brought his hand to his face to check.

"No," she said, guiding his hand back to his side. "No, it's not that. Look, we need to talk."

"About?" asked Hammer.

Robin was about to answer when her producer interrupted, shouting from a few feet away. "Damn it!" he yelled. Everyone turned. "That was the guy with the tap dancing dog. Apparently Kingsley's got worms and won't be able to make it for the interview... And no one is available to bring the dog over in time, either."

He shook his head in annoyance, then did a quick scan of the room. When he spotted Captain Hammer, actually there on set, he smiled and walked leisurely up to him with open arms. "Captain Hammer! Thanks so much for that interview the other day. Our ratings went through the roof."

"Naturally," said Captain Hammer. "Everyone loves a hero."

"Exactly," said the producer. "Now, wouldn't you want to do anything you could to bring even more joy to all of your loyal fans?"

"Well, I suppose-"

"Great," said the producer. "Marjorie, get him in make-up."

"Wait," said Robin. "What?" This was definitely not what she had planned.

"Robin, honey," said the producer. "Instead of the dog, you're going to interview Captain Hammer again."

"But, but..." she started.

"Okay," said the producer, walking away. "We role in ten, so get a move on, people."

"Isn't this great?" Captain Hammer said to her. Robin didn't answer.

–

"So, Captain Hammer," Robin began. "Thank you for being here."

"No problem," he said.

"So," said Robin. "What exactly is it like for a day in the life of Captain Hammer."

"You know," he said. "I get asked that question a lot, and many people are surprised when I tell them that it's not all fun and games. I have to prepare myself both mentally and psychologically on a daily basis. Not physically, of course; I just naturally look like this."

"Interesting," she said. "But um... how are you liking your change of scenery from LA to New York so far?"

"Well, I-"

Just then, there was a large crash through the set. "Mwahahaha..." laughed Dr. Horrible as he leaped onto the news anchor desk and pointed his Freeze-Ray (which, in his adjustments, he had made portable, and now also conveniently had a small Death-Ray attached to it). Robin looked up at him and gave him a look that clearly read, 'What the hell, Barney? You couldn't do this somewhere else?'

Barney reciprocated with a look that said 'Sorry, I had to.' He then turned back to Captain Hammer and said aloud, "All right, Hammer, prepare to meet your doom!"

"Dr. Horrible," said Captain Hammer, not in the least bit frightened. "I should have known you'd show up here."

"How could you possible guess that?" said Dr. Horrible, not seeing the logic.

"Bar- Dr. Horrible," said Robin. "Please, don't do this."

He turned to her, and said, "But I-" Then, he felt a flash of pain bolting through his body as Captain Hammer punched him hard in the stomach. He fell off the desk and curled up in a ball, moaning in agony.

Captain Hammer rose in triumph and began pummeling him with fist after fist. Suddenly, though, the superhero felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up and- Pow! It was now he himself that was lying in pain on the ground, crying like a baby before running blindly out of the studio.

Robin helped Dr. Horrible to his feet. She couldn't tell, but behind his goggles, he wore a look of great confusion. He was just about to ask what happened when he heard sirens off in the distance. He quickly gathered up his Freeze-Ray and limped away as fast as he could to safety.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight:

Wendy the waitress brought over another round of beers to the booth. "I still cannot believe that you made Captain Hammer cry," Ted said to Robin.

"Wait," said Marshall. "So does this make you a supervillain now?"

"It's not that big of a deal, guys," said Robin. "I mean, it was just _one_ punch."

"Yeah," said Lily. "But it knocked out Captain Hammer!"

Just then, a group of three men walked up to the gang's booth, and one of them asked Robin, "Hey, are you the chick that beat up that superhero?"

"Yeah," said Robin.

"Right on," said the guy, all three nodding and smiling in approval. "Can I maybe get you a drink or something?"

"Sure," said Robin.

That evening, the bar became very lively in celebrating Robin's earlier action. Robin was surrounded by large groups as she told her story, which became progressively more impressive during each retelling.

It was close to midnight when Barney walked through the door. He silently looked around the crowded space and spotted Robin in the epicenter of the commotion. When Robin saw him, she stood up from her stool and pushed her way towards him.

"Hey," said Barney, shyly.

"Hey, yourself," said Robin. "What happened to you afterwards? I was worried."

"Really?" he asked, a tinge more upbeat.

"Of course," said Robin. She looked around, deciding this wasn't really the best place to talk. "Here, let's go outside." They stepped outside MacLaren's and into the street. There was a slight chill, but not uncomfortable.

"So," said Robin. "How did the League feel about the events of this afternoon?"

"They were a little less than pleased," said Barney.

"Did they fire you?" asked Robin.

Barney let out a small laugh. "No," he said. "My boss was upset, but I made him see reason."

"Do I even want to know?" asked Robin.

"Let's just say that he's taking a long pause to think it over," he said. "But what about you? I'm sure your producer didn't love your punching out one of the biggest names in New York."

"Are you kidding?" said Robin. "Ratings have risen higher than they have in a long time. The public loves me."

"How could they not?" Barney said aloud, though to himself.

"What did you say?" asked Robin.

"Hm?" he said, shaken from his thoughts. "Nothing."

Robin took a deep breath and turned to face him. She looked into his blue eyes, and saw the same sadness that she had noticed many times before. "Barney," she said. "I think I have feelings for you."

"What?" said Barney, putting up his best defense. "Look, Robin, you're great and all..."

"Barney," said Robin. "Lily told me."

"Damn it, Lily!"

"So... we both like each other," said Robin. "And we're both free tonight."

"So," he said. "You're not weirded out by my evil alter-ego?"

"That depends," she smiled. "Are you referring to Dr. Horrible or Barney Stinson?"

"Come on..."

"Seriously," said Robin. "The way I see it is: everyone has an outer layer, which covers up their inner layer. So you think that you're hiding who you really are by the mask you wear on the outside for public show. But really, deep down, you're just you. Because then underneath that other layer is a third layer that is just the same as the first."

"Like with pie..." said Barney, eyes wide in amazement.

"Exactly," she said. "No one has ever gotten that before!"

"I think I love you," said Barney.

"Huh?" she asked.

"Nothing..." said Barney, hurriedly. "Wanna get a drink?"

"Sure, Barney," she said. "And did you just Mosby me?"

"No," mumbled Barney.

"Yeah, you did," smiled Robin triumphantly.

"You coming or not, Scherbatsky?" he asked, turning around to walk back into the bar.

"Yeah," she said, catching up to walk beside him. "Hold on a sec." She touched his arm, and he paused. Robin looked into Barney's eyes, and noticed that the sadness in them was gone. She leaned in and kissed him.

Barney felt Robin's lips on his. She was beautiful, kind, funny, could hold her scotch, liked laser tag, and accepted him for who he was, actually liked him for who he was. He always knew how awesome Robin was, but he never realized until now that she was everything he ever wanted.

Robin had never thought of herself as anything extraordinary. She may have been a former Canadian pop star, but that was more embarrassing than fascinating. When she moved to New York, she had decided to put her career first; Ted changed that. The way he devoted himself to her made her feel amazing. But he just wasn't the one for her. Barney, on the other, never made it rain for her, never stole a blue french horn, never re-returned. But he had always been there for her, cheering her on from the side line. It didn't matter who he was- Barney, Dr. Horrible- he was always her friend, always her source of comfort, always her hero. Now, he made her feel like she had everything she ever wanted. And that was enough.


End file.
